I come from a very poor background. I have been homeless a few times. Through hard work and sheer sacrifice, I was not only able to find a good job, but spent my teenage life taking care of my whole family. This continued until my mid-thirties when I started to focus on myself and try to secure myself a retirement.
I had to figure it all out on my own. It was quite lonely. After a few failed businesses, I finally found real estate and got started. It cost me a bit and I met a few bad characters during that time, but overall I bought and rehabilitated a four unit condo and it paid off in five years.
During this time, I found another building with four units, which I bought with cash. My ex is an electrician and was extremely helpful so we got together pretty quickly as we spent a lot of time together. He helped me with many projects, often supervising the workforce, but I always paid for the necessary supplies and third parties.
‘He dug us in a hole‘
He proposed after a year, and we got married a year later. He asked to manage the second rehab. He told me he knew more about project management than I did. Fast forward to 2021: I invested $ 140,000 and it invested $ 40,000. Three years later, the project was not finished. When I questioned him he got angry and frustrated.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, our joint project created terrible tensions because it just lied about what happened to our budget – the money I invested – and why the project was not even 50% complete. He dug us out of a hole, spent money on things I told him not to buy, and was way over our original budget.
“I paid most of our expenses during the four years we were together.
My husband left me in August. He gave up on the project and our marriage. He said our marriage and our business was stressing him out. I never judged him and knew I was making twice as much as him when we first met, but that didn’t matter to me. I paid most of our expenses during the four years we were together, and he only contributed when he wanted to.
He tried to come back in February, but we ended up fighting again. Now he wants the $ 40,000 he invested in my building that he demolished and left destroyed. I could have finished it two years ago if I had remained in charge. I have nothing legal in writing. I called a lawyer who said a divorce could cost me $ 15,000.
‘I am not a big investor‘
If the two properties were bought in my name only before we got married – and I invested three times as much in his failed project as he did – who do we owe what? I told him that he had no right to either property, and that we shouldn’t need such an expensive divorce without children. Apart from the project, we have not mixed our finances.
I bought this building to use it as retirement income because I am not a big investor. These two buildings cost me the savings of my life and should have brought me $ 1 million in assets. My assets now stand at $ 650,000 because the other building is still at a loss. In my current state, I would lose money if I sold it as is.
He keeps telling me to take the equity in my first property to pay him off so he can go, but I don’t think I owe him anything because of his negligence, and the fact that it has tied up my money and lost rental income for the past two years. I covered our expenses, including $ 50,000 on vacation since we got together.
I feel like I was heartbroken, and now he’s trying to break my wallet too.
Mediocre man meets successful woman, convinces her that he is better at building things, is unable to oversee a project similar to the one she has successfully managed in the past, invests a fraction of the amount invested by his wife , gets angry when asked about his failures, picks up his hammer and demands his money.
You have the money to speak to a good lawyer and familiarize yourself with the legal landscape. It bodes well that you bought these properties before your wedding, but you likely mixed up the second property as he invested $ 40,000 of his own money to renovate it.
Whether or not you live in a community property or equitable distribution state, collect documents: bank statements, emails, credit card statements, bills and anything that shows the contribution you made to this marriage. Be ready. He may end up owing you money.
As you do this, keep your eyes on the future rather than the past. It might be true that you could save $ 1 million already, but that’s not what happened. You have paid the price for a lesson you won’t soon forget. Don’t give up your creative gold for anyone.
“I would like you to build something that will cost you nothing except the courage and determination that you have shown in your life so far. ”
When I read that your ex-husband had arrived on the scene, I hoped it would not turn out that way. He did you a favor by running away. The good news: you still have skin in the game, you can finish the second project just like you did the first. But first you have to be tough.
To do this, I would like you to build something that will cost you nothing except the courage and determination that you have shown in your life so far: build a wall of glass between you and your husband. It’s time to stop entertaining his demands on your time and your business.
He’s a madman, a man who built himself on a cloud of smoke from false bravado. If he was the man he said he was, he would have built you instead. You’ve already managed a similar project on budget and on time. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself.
The next man that comes in and tells you point blank that he’s better than you at something or anything, show him the door. Hopefully, this will be a door that you personally paid for, installed – and has a good lock and a really nice, heavy swing.
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